be still, my heart

I will never forget when first those eyes reached in
and touched my soul.

"Kittens are important..."

"God created them, every one."

Is what Gwyneth informed us this morning...
Is also what Mommy reminded her after a second mishap involving air born kittens this afternoon.
She loves them.
To pieces.

Jude and Camden love them, too.
But can't get within 5 feet of them without suffering the consequences.
Serious consequences.
Within minutes of getting them home last night
both boys were hiving up with scratchy, bloodshot eyes.
And Jude's cheeks puffed up to double the size while one eye almost swelled shut.
Not to mention the coughing and sneezing.

Jude was so upset this morning he declared we needed to take them back.
Torture, it is for him.
He is so loving and tender with them.
He adores them.
All day he begged.
All day he pleaded.
All day he watched me with those eyes;
filled with the knowledge of betrayal.
So pathetic.
Mommy caved by 9:32...a.m.

Is it horribly wicked of me to be so gloriously happy in the knowledge that my children will never be able to have an indoor pet?

Most definitely, but I can't help it.

Even so, we knew it was time for the kids to have an outdoor pet, or two.


Meet Felicity.
She is cautious and shy.

And Tabitha. Or Samantha, if Gwyn gets her way.

She is curious and fun.

I finally found something harder than 2 year-olds to photograph;

11 week old kittens!

But they are sweet and oh sooooo good.

And I love them, despite myself.

*hApPy SaTuRdaY*

August for us

This August is literally flying by.
I feel like I'm still somewhere back in June.
Same thing happened to me last year with Adah's birth.
This year we had my brother's wedding.
I struggle with weddings. Always have. And it's only getting worse.
A big production that has absolutely nothing to do with the institution of marriage itself, put on for everyone but the bride and groom. My wedding day was among one of the hardest, miserable, most stressful days of my life. I never even had time to think about Lyle. I will regret that eternally.
Regardless, though, I was honored to be included in their celebration. (Hope you're enjoying Maui, guys!) And I couldn't be more thrilled to add Serina to my growing list of sisters. Six in all now, with (hopefully) one more to go. (; And I count all of them as my dearest friends.
Now, I can concentrate on preparing myself for homeschooling three! I'm suddenly getting a bit overwhelmed by the prospect of it and have decided not to join the co-op this fall in hopes of keeping things simple as we begin this looooong journey. I am so excited to just discover and learn with my babies...one of the most magical things about parenthood. Okay, feeling better about it again....(: We have chosen Sonlight for our curriculum because their educational philosophy is exactly what we've always dreamed of for our children; to instill in them a love for God's world and His people with a literature based program. If any one's interested; http://www.sonlight.com/educational-philosophy.html Can't wait!
We had hopes of taking the kids to the coast for our 10th anniversary. It would be our first family trip, but it looks like it's not going to happen. Lyle hasn't gotten his last two bonuses which kinda puts a damper on things. And I'm really okay with that. It's not something we need. And I wouldn't trade any one of my babies for all the dream vacations in the world. Now if we can just make it through winter alive! (;
Lyle has done wonders with the yard this month! And we are so grateful for Dale who spent several evenings up here moving rocks and dirt for us. And wouldn't let us pay him! It looks so beautiful. I am so excited about it!
Camden is nearing 6 too quickly and continues to amaze us with his ability to take anything and run with it. He is destined for success. That boy is seriously gifted in many, many ways. And charming to boot. I knew there was a reason for that big head of his. (; He's becoming one of those people you love to hate, but you just can't because they're so darn likable. He is so helpful with his brother and sisters. And is always begging for more. It makes my heart happy.
Jude is still an emotional train wreck. We have really buckled down on him. Trying to get some form of control over his constant whining and outbursts. It seems to be helping. And even though he has put us through the ringer, he is still such a joy. So giving and so utterly in need of affection. I love his transparency... For all of his bad moments he has given us just as many beautiful, happy, joyful moments. We need never wonder how he feels in any given situation.
Gwyneth has been so much fun. She is turning into quite the little lady. Always the first to say a prayer for someone in need. She makes us stop what we're doing right then and there and will thank God for mending the situation...before the fact. It has been said that she is her Aunt Heather reincarnated. I can't testify to the fact since I didn't know Aunt Heather at that age, but she is driven, independent, strong willed, wild, fun loving and gorgeous. Daddy can't wait until she's a teenager(; She needs me like none of the others have. And I am afraid that because of it I will somehow fail her and it will not be forgiven. She is the one that has the ability to make me constantly question my abilities as a parent.
Adah is still having difficulty standing. But she is trying now. And that makes me feel so much better about it. She can now get up on her knees and elbows, which is quite the feat for her. She is so proud of herself and rolls over as quickly as she can when I come to get her out of her crib, showing off her new trick. Her favorite word is "Uh-oh" and you can't know the sweetness of it until you've heard her. You simply can't. Words cannot express the beauty of her spirit. She is darling. darling. darling. beyond measure.
Someone told me after giving birth to Adah that we have the million dollar family.
(2boys+2girls=a million dollars)
What a pale, pale comparison.

this little piggy

Adah,

You are enamored with your toes.

You often hold them out for Mommy and Daddy
begging for them to be tickled and loved on.

From the very start you have been able to use them like hands.

You point with them, pick things up with them,

and yes, even suck on them.

Every thing new to you is tested first with your feet.

It is because of this that you hate to wear shoes.

Silly girl.

You get it from Grami.

Something Beautiful

I came across this article months ago and still find myself thinking about it.

In honor of tomorrow's wedding;

God's Glory Displayed Through Gender.

piggies ARE yummy

oh, how I love her

piGgieS-r-YuMmY

Wouldn't you agree?

daddy's little helpers

my sweet boy

if you watch closely
you will find guarded eyes
behind that confident smile

He will no longer let me out of his sight.
Once daddy's boy, he now begs for mama to be with him every moment.
He talks of the bad lady often.
How she wears a black sheet and has a horn on top of her head.
How she has no eyes and can't see his skin, only his bones.
How she tries to push him into the hole in the floor because she thinks he's dead.
How she floats outside and looks for animals to eat.
Asking why she would come to our house.
Telling me he doesn't like his room.
And rarely venturing into any room without me.
She hasn't been back, he says.
But he is always thinking of it.
And waking up screaming with nightmares.
Even when taken with a grain of salt, it's disturbing...at best.
Always the sensitive one, he has now gone completely bonkers.
He's been struggling lately.
With everything, it seems.
It's left me unsettled.
More than I realized, given the fact that I never intended to blog about this.

Jude,
I pray every day that God will make it all better...
I love you so.